i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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