Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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