New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Randomize
