I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
