My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
