I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
