Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
