well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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