come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
