Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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