arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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