Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
