im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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