she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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