this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
