two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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