and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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