What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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