The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
