If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
is wine microwaveable?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
