The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
