he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
