Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
