What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
