is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
