I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
