i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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