yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize