omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I will be naked everywhere
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
