I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
