At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
