my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
