"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize