I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
