**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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