Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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