was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Sober January is a disaster.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
