dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
