last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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