He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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