I want to walk on stilts...naked
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
