It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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