yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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