i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
