Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
