no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
splinters make it hard to masturbate
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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