Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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