Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
