The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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