Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
