my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
