The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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