So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
