we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
