At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
