yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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