dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
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she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
