Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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