They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
