My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
