as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
